"What are you thinking?"

A talk that I loved from General Conference came from Elder W. Craig Zwick. It was one of the talks that resonated with me long after the conference was over. It was about virtuous and uplifting communication.  I not only loved the topic, but I already loved and respected Elder Zwick because he came to visit our mission sometime last fall, and this talk helped me to love him even more.

Something that he said when he came to North Carolina stuck out to me so much. He bore such a powerful testimony that we were assigned to this mission for a specific reason. And I know that to be true. I know I was called to this mission for many reasons. He strongly and boldly stated, "You have been assigned to the North Carolina Raleigh Mission for a reason. Of that I bear witness." For some, it may have just been words. For me, it changed the way I viewed my entire mission. From that point on, I had no doubt (not that I had had much before) that I was supposed to be in this specific mission. I knew I had to be serving in North Carolina. That way, when times got hard, I could reflect on the way I felt on that day. I knew for a certainty that the words he was saying were true. I knew that I had to figure out the many reasons I was assigned to serve here (more on that some other time).

Back to his talk in conference, titled, "What are you thinking?" That question could be so commonly used to condescend or degrade. But instead, Elder Zwick used this phrase to help us internalize how can can look outward, and not inward. Often times, we jump to conclusions about why another person is feeling what they are. And we really don't know.

My companion and I have been pondering on how powerful words can be for good, or for bad.

This portion of Elder Zwick's talk from Conference answered a lot of my questions.

"Children sometimes speak to beloved parents with tongues as sharp as blades. Spouses, who have shared some of life’s richest and most tender experiences, lose vision and patience with each other and raise their voices. All of us, though covenant children of a loving Heavenly Father,have regretted jumping headlong from the high seat of self-righteous judgment and have spoken with abrasive words before we understood a situation from another’s perspective. We have all had the opportunity to learn how destructive words can take a situation from hazardous to fatal.

A recent letter from the First Presidency states clearly, 'The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility even when we disagree' (First Presidency letter, Jan. 10, 2014).What a masterful reminder that we can and should participate in continuing civil dialogue, especially when we view the world from differing perspectives.

The writer of Proverbs counsels, 'A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger' (Proverbs 15:1). A 'soft answer' consists of a reasoned response—disciplined words from a humble heart. It does not mean we never speak directly or that we compromise doctrinal truth. Words that may be firm in information can be soft in spirit."

How true that is! I invite you all to speak more kindly this week!